12-31-2009

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Woke up at 6am feeling hung over...strange thing is that I didn't drink last night. My life centers around my couch. There's a stack of book, plates, empty beers bottle and an ash tray. Kinda gross. I know that I need to change my life. Today is as good a day as any! Well maybe tomorrow. After all today is New Years Eve and there's plenty of drinking to do tonight!!

I'm a man of instant gratification. I'm tired I want to lay down NOW!, I'm hungry I want food and FAST! I'm bored gimme some beer NOW!! I'm horny I want my pron NOW! As a result my life has been greatly centered around satisfying these urges. What I realize is that I need to make changes. Before I gave up on my magickal studies I became obsessed with Aleister Crowley. Of course when I was younger I used him as an example of how one can indulge in excess while still maintaining a spiritual life. I think this is something many occultists and Thelemites do. Well I never knew that man but I'm sure that he had his share of struggle balancing the two. Plus I'm not him. I cannot balance the two. I don't have the will power that he had. I need to change my foundation.

This is a tricky thing. We all have a foundation in our lives. For some it's religion and philosophy. For others (like me) it's the path of instant gratification. I'm addicted to t.v. the internet or any other sensory indulgence. In fact today we have more distractions then ever before. As a result being spiritual is harder than ever before. This foundation that we all have built our lives on is very important. How do we switch the foundation without collapsing the tower? or maybe we should collapse the tower?

So what sort of practice will I begin today? I think I'll start with Liber Resh vel Helios. I've always enjoyed practicing this. Well it's closer too noon so I guess I'll start then.

Love is the law, love under will.