Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Woke up at 6am feeling hung over...strange thing is that I didn't drink last night. My life centers around my couch. There's a stack of book, plates, empty beers bottle and an ash tray. Kinda gross. I know that I need to change my life. Today is as good a day as any! Well maybe tomorrow. After all today is New Years Eve and there's plenty of drinking to do tonight!!
I'm a man of instant gratification. I'm tired I want to lay down NOW!, I'm hungry I want food and FAST! I'm bored gimme some beer NOW!! I'm horny I want my pron NOW! As a result my life has been greatly centered around satisfying these urges. What I realize is that I need to make changes. Before I gave up on my magickal studies I became obsessed with Aleister Crowley. Of course when I was younger I used him as an example of how one can indulge in excess while still maintaining a spiritual life. I think this is something many occultists and Thelemites do. Well I never knew that man but I'm sure that he had his share of struggle balancing the two. Plus I'm not him. I cannot balance the two. I don't have the will power that he had. I need to change my foundation.
This is a tricky thing. We all have a foundation in our lives. For some it's religion and philosophy. For others (like me) it's the path of instant gratification. I'm addicted to t.v. the internet or any other sensory indulgence. In fact today we have more distractions then ever before. As a result being spiritual is harder than ever before. This foundation that we all have built our lives on is very important. How do we switch the foundation without collapsing the tower? or maybe we should collapse the tower?
So what sort of practice will I begin today? I think I'll start with Liber Resh vel Helios. I've always enjoyed practicing this. Well it's closer too noon so I guess I'll start then.
Love is the law, love under will.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Introduction
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
Here we go, day one. I guess and introduction would be a good idea!
My name is Donn. I have had an interest in the occult since I was 12 years old (currently I'm 32 years old). In my younger days I studied the occult and magickal systems like a fanatic! Of course I did more reading than practicing. This lasted until I was about 23 years old. My life took a dramatic turn...I became a father! With this new responsibility came the crushing truth about the mundane world. I began to focus on my career and providing for my family became my new obsession. I threw my self into my job. What is my job you may wonder? Well I'm an Optician. I make, sell, fit and dispense prescription eyewear. Exciting huh? I become obsessed with the science of lenses and optics. Through my optical career I have made many accomplishments. I've published over 50 articles and reached high levels of certification. My occult interest became less and less of a focus. I did feel that my children should grow up in a spiritual house hold. My fiance at the time did not share my spiritual interests. We wanted nothing to do with Christianity so we settled on Judaism.
I spent the next few years meeting with Rabbi's attending temple on friday nights (when I could). After a while my fiance gave up on the idea but I was still committed. Well the years dragged on and of course the required classes needed for conversion were on days that I worked. I seemed to be spinning my wheels and going no where fast! Soon I gave up on the idea as well.
The pressure of my daily life was getting to me. I stress of writing and other projects were beginning to wear on me. I needed a break. I needed a hobby. One day I caught an episode of Ghost Hunters on the SciFi channel. I thought "hey I can do that! It looks like fun!". I thought that I would be able to bring some of my scientific knowledge to the field. Within a few days I created the DuPage Paranormal Society. It was rough work and nothing like what you see on t.v.! Of course some of the topics moved toward the occult and religion. I figured that I'd dust off some of my old occult books and replace some of the ones I had sold. I figured if something occult related came up during an investigation I'd be the go to guy.
Many months later my sister convinced me to attend a meditation group at the Theosophical Society. I was hesitant but decided to go. It was my first real meditation and it was amazing! I came home and began to review what it was I had learned about the occult years ago. I came to realize the importance of the basic skills i.e. meditation and visualization. It opened my eyes to the role magick plays in personal transformation! But did I go any further with it? Nope. I slid right back into my old routine.
Then about six months ago my world crashed around me. My fiance left me the same day I was told that my job may need to let me go. Fortunately I did not loose my job but was knocked down to part time. It was either that or get let go. During this same time my grandfather died, I almost got evicted, almost lost my car only later to have it break down on me. I was a financial and emotional wreck. I stopped taking care of myself (not that I really took care of myself to begin with) I stopped caring about my home I just died inside. I hated the world! I wanted revenge! I wanted control of my life! I wanted to curse everybody!
With the help of some medication, family and a great group of friends I began to pull my life together. I got a new job and began to get my financial life under control. I began to look more and more to my occult past. I was looking at it with fresh and more mature eyes. I began to notice things that I had never noticed before! It began to make sense!! I wanted to start where I left off many years ago but I needed a good nudge. I reordered a book that I had loved. It was Lon Milo DuQuette's MY LIFE WITH THE SPIRITS. His honest approach was refreshing and motivating. It was just the nudge I needed.
So why post your magickal diary on the internet for all to see? shouldn't it be private?
In my case I want to share my journey with total honesty. I think that there are many people who can relate. I hope that by having even a few people following that it will motivate me further.
Well now that you know my motivation I guess I should get started with my entries.
Love is the law, love under will.
Here we go, day one. I guess and introduction would be a good idea!
My name is Donn. I have had an interest in the occult since I was 12 years old (currently I'm 32 years old). In my younger days I studied the occult and magickal systems like a fanatic! Of course I did more reading than practicing. This lasted until I was about 23 years old. My life took a dramatic turn...I became a father! With this new responsibility came the crushing truth about the mundane world. I began to focus on my career and providing for my family became my new obsession. I threw my self into my job. What is my job you may wonder? Well I'm an Optician. I make, sell, fit and dispense prescription eyewear. Exciting huh? I become obsessed with the science of lenses and optics. Through my optical career I have made many accomplishments. I've published over 50 articles and reached high levels of certification. My occult interest became less and less of a focus. I did feel that my children should grow up in a spiritual house hold. My fiance at the time did not share my spiritual interests. We wanted nothing to do with Christianity so we settled on Judaism.
I spent the next few years meeting with Rabbi's attending temple on friday nights (when I could). After a while my fiance gave up on the idea but I was still committed. Well the years dragged on and of course the required classes needed for conversion were on days that I worked. I seemed to be spinning my wheels and going no where fast! Soon I gave up on the idea as well.
The pressure of my daily life was getting to me. I stress of writing and other projects were beginning to wear on me. I needed a break. I needed a hobby. One day I caught an episode of Ghost Hunters on the SciFi channel. I thought "hey I can do that! It looks like fun!". I thought that I would be able to bring some of my scientific knowledge to the field. Within a few days I created the DuPage Paranormal Society. It was rough work and nothing like what you see on t.v.! Of course some of the topics moved toward the occult and religion. I figured that I'd dust off some of my old occult books and replace some of the ones I had sold. I figured if something occult related came up during an investigation I'd be the go to guy.
Many months later my sister convinced me to attend a meditation group at the Theosophical Society. I was hesitant but decided to go. It was my first real meditation and it was amazing! I came home and began to review what it was I had learned about the occult years ago. I came to realize the importance of the basic skills i.e. meditation and visualization. It opened my eyes to the role magick plays in personal transformation! But did I go any further with it? Nope. I slid right back into my old routine.
Then about six months ago my world crashed around me. My fiance left me the same day I was told that my job may need to let me go. Fortunately I did not loose my job but was knocked down to part time. It was either that or get let go. During this same time my grandfather died, I almost got evicted, almost lost my car only later to have it break down on me. I was a financial and emotional wreck. I stopped taking care of myself (not that I really took care of myself to begin with) I stopped caring about my home I just died inside. I hated the world! I wanted revenge! I wanted control of my life! I wanted to curse everybody!
With the help of some medication, family and a great group of friends I began to pull my life together. I got a new job and began to get my financial life under control. I began to look more and more to my occult past. I was looking at it with fresh and more mature eyes. I began to notice things that I had never noticed before! It began to make sense!! I wanted to start where I left off many years ago but I needed a good nudge. I reordered a book that I had loved. It was Lon Milo DuQuette's MY LIFE WITH THE SPIRITS. His honest approach was refreshing and motivating. It was just the nudge I needed.
So why post your magickal diary on the internet for all to see? shouldn't it be private?
In my case I want to share my journey with total honesty. I think that there are many people who can relate. I hope that by having even a few people following that it will motivate me further.
Well now that you know my motivation I guess I should get started with my entries.
Love is the law, love under will.
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